Hello Everyone!

As I walked the streets of Ntcheu yesterday afternoon by myself, I was reminded of a great work of literature that I read many times during my college years, W.E.B. Du Boise's /The Souls of Black Folks/. In the beginning of his work, he speaks of being sharply aware of his "twoness," and though I do not pretend to fully understand the "twoness" he spoke of, I did feel like I could write my own story of "twoness" as I felt the gaze of many staring eyes. My twoness would be the "mazungu" white that they see and the reality of my "whiteness" that I know. If I could define myself through their eyes, perhaps this is who I would be: I would be the strangely, pale female who looks almost ghostly. I would be the symbol of wealth and money, which would require those that see me to shout "give me my money!" I would be the girl with the white, shiny hair that seems to glow when the sun hits it, and I would be the only "mazungu" that they have seen who walks from place to place. They would wonder, "why isn't this mazungu driving a car?" And I would be the girl who deserves to be stared at for long periods of time.

Of course, I know that my "whiteness" is not what they assume it be. I know that I am not powerful, wealthy, or superior (though wealth and power are all relative). I know that my "whiteness" is very different than the whiteness of a Bristish, or French, or German citizen. I also know that the history of my "whiteness" is not always something to be proud of as I remember the ways that we oppressed and enslaved the people of this continent or the ways that we continue to spread our "message of democracy" through strong handed and deadly tactics. I know that if they knew my "whiteness" they would not want to stare in amazement or bow in respect. I know that they would not get on their knees to wash my hands before dinner or insist that I eat the only chicken that they have bought in months. But they do not know that "whiteness", and so Nate and I must continue to live in a world where we could never fully understand how these people define us. I think that this is a "twoness" that everyone
should have to experience at some point in their life. It is a confusing, frustrating, and alienating feeling, but everyone should have that stark awareness of their own "twoness".

With that being said, we are still recovering from our trip on Wednesday. I haven't felt quite the same since, perhaps I have caught a little bit of a cold or something. I woke-up last night feeling like there was not enough blood flowing to my right leg. It was not completely numb or asleep, but it felt a little tingly. It feels a little better today (though still not completely better), but I have been a little tired today. I am hoping that a couple of "easy" days will give me back my energy before we head back out to the impact area on Tuesday.
Today we bought the items for the "AIDS Buckets" that we will hand out on Tuesday. The funds for this project were provided by Chosen Hope, the same West Michigan NGO that is paying for the schooling of orphans.

The buckets will include sugar, salt, powdered milk, a 20 liter bucket, 4 plates, 2 cups, toothbrush, toothpaste, bath towel, 1 kg of rice, oil, bath soap, laundry soap, Vaseline, and sugar. These will be of a great help to the patients we met this past week; we are excited to be able to hand them out. We will pack them up tomorrow and await the arrival of a the red truck from Lilongwe (we do not want to take the truck again!).

Thank you to everyone who has been sending us emails of support and encouragement. We appreciate your prayers and notes, as they are a refreshing and uplifting part of our day. We are amazed at how blessed we are, not only in the ways that we have mentioned in the prior emails but also through the relationships we have with all of you.
Thank you and God Bless!
~ Nate and Bekah